How to Support a Friend Through Grief (Without Saying the Wrong Thing)
I’ll never forget seeing my friend’s mom for the first time at the funeral after one of my good high school friends, her daughter, had passed.
I wanted to say something comforting. Something that would make her feel seen and loved. But all the words that came to mind felt wrong—too cliché, too shallow, too much.
Grief has a way of making even the most well-meaning of us feel… awkward. We second-guess our words. We hesitate to reach out, worried we’ll say the wrong thing. But here’s the truth: showing up with imperfect love is far better than saying nothing at all.
If you’ve ever struggled with how to support a friend through grief, you’re not alone. And you’re not powerless, either. There is a way to be there without overstepping or falling silent.
Let’s walk through it together.
💬 What Not to Say (And What to Say Instead)
Grief isn’t something to fix—it’s something to hold space for. Avoid phrases like:
“At least they’re in a better place.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“Time heals all wounds.”
These often come from a good place, but can feel dismissive to someone who’s hurting.
Instead, try:
“I don’t have the perfect words, but I’m here.”
“This must be so hard—I’m thinking of you every day.”
“Tell me about them. I’d love to hear more.”
What people grieving need most isn’t advice—it’s presence.
👐 Tangible Ways to Show Up
Support doesn’t always have to be verbal. Here are five ways you can love a friend through grief:
Drop off a meal or coffee—no need to stay unless invited.
Text “Thinking of you” without expecting a reply.
Send a journal like our Grace in Grief—it’s a thoughtful, lasting gift.
Offer to help with logistics (groceries, childcare, errands).
Mark important dates on your calendar and check in weeks or months later.
It’s not about doing everything—it’s about doing something.
💌 It’s Okay to Feel Unsure
Supporting someone in grief is messy and imperfect, just like grief itself. The goal isn’t to say the “right” thing. It’s to be a gentle reminder that they’re not alone.
The best thing you can offer? Your consistent presence.
💭 Final Thoughts
Grief doesn’t go away after the funeral. It lingers in quiet moments, random triggers, and milestone days. So check in again. And again.
If you want to offer a truly meaningful gift, our Grace in Grief journal was created to support loved ones in those quiet, in-between moments—when the cards have stopped coming but the pain remains.
Ready to support someone you love? Here’s how:
💌 Text them right now.
📦 Send them the Grace in Grief journal.
✍️ Share this post with a friend who needs to hear it.
You don’t have to be perfect to be present. Just be there. 💜
